Tuesday, 31 August 2010

groundhog day with spilt tea

Pauley Perrette has her 'threeoclockdance' break and we really love that idea- just imagine
it became compulsory...a divorcing couple throwing plates and arguing over who gets
 custody of the dog and...."uh oh, it's 3 o clock...better shimmy!" or the fighting ninja
assassins in mid tango "you move delightfully Moonshadow Star San, but when we finish
this erotic dance of love.....I must kill you, your family, your friends, your friend's family....
and your goldfish!"- well now....I have noticed that I have a similar thing, not always at
three o clock, but at least once a day, every day!
what happens is that I have a tendency of at least ONE moment of involuntary madness-
this is the most recent example of what is best described as totally unnecessary behavior   
a popular Dartmoor tor based eatery out of the back of a van..(names have been changed
to protect the innocent) Moomin and I were to meet friends there but they became very
lost somewhere between Chagford and Bovey so it allowed us indulge in tea based
activities..."hey it's three o clock anyway" so tea was requested and the large, scary burger
lady obliged- she placed two mugs on the sparkling worktop and turned away for the 
teapot....it was at precisely this moment that I noticed the purple mug...I wanted it,
unfortunately Moomin had the same idea and after the tea was filled to the brim, both
our hands grabbed hold of it-"don't you want the yellow one?" Moomin asked "er...no
I want this one" I said, tightening my grip- we both tugged it in opposing directions which
caused tea to spill all over large, scary burger lady's worktop...she gave us both a really hard stare stopping the squabbling, well.... for a bit- grabbing the yellow mug too, we both
accompanied the purple chalice  back to my car, spilling tea painfully down our legs-
back at the car I visually followed the typhoo trail back to the van where large, scary burger
lady was still mopping up at giving us mature, grown up girls an even harder stare out of the 
window- looking down I had now noticed that there wasn't much tea left in the purple
mug....I bit my lip and giggled "ok Moomin, I'm going to be soo lovely and let you have this,
 I will settle for the yellow one" Moomin had the same idea " oh no, I insist you have it"
both our grips tightened around the yellow mug now causing tea to pour all over our
feet with burning drips- eventually we both gazed down at the empty mugs and felt quite
ashamed, especially when the mugs had to be returned to large, scary burger lady who was 
still giving us both a 'perishing look' "trouble making goths!" I imagined she was thinking
when purchasing tea...ask for two identical mugs....
failing that...rock,paper,scissors,lizard,spock 

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

never...ever...come between a girl and her shoes

the man stood on the doorstep with a box...."ooh I know what this is" I said with a
large amount of excitement in my voice- after doing the rubbish signature on his
gizmo box thingy, I slammed the door and made for the bedroom....all was too
quite...I wasn't happy- suddenly, without warning, there was a thunder of footsteps
as the shoe assassin attacked- Moomin also knew what was in the box and had
decided to beat me to it's bounty....we crashed to the floor as we grabbed for the box in
a tangled mass of dreads and stripey socks..."aha" I breathlessly gasped as I managed
to get to my feet...but to no avail as Moomin grasped my ankle sending sparawling
over the bed and down the other side- the box crashed onto the floor and moomin
started peeling at the tape..I picked up my big floor cushion and whacked her 
around the back of the head..."cripes, that's done it!" I murmered as Moomin suddenly
turned her attention to me...we both ran down the stairs again screaming as it
was obviously my turn for large pillow whackage in the melon department- now in
the kitchen we grabbed hold of each others hair and started tugging "ow ow ow"
we both went "get off get off" CRASH!..................oo....................the large glass jar
containing several hundred gogo crazybones was now on the floor, luckily intact but
it was enough to stop the carnage "ok, let's be sensible about this" I said "yes, after
all we are grown ups " came Moomin's reply....I was off, taking three steps at a time I
grabbed the box and ran into my studio locking the door.....AND.........RELAX!
well the final outcome, I won....and as Moomin snapped me above lounging in her boudoir
wearing the spoils of war, she asked "well..can I at least borrow them?"......biting my
lip and thinking for a moment I replied..."course you can Moomin, course you can"
thank you demonia...lovely shoes....but oh, the conflict

Friday, 13 August 2010

sulking pixie

right at this very moment in space and time I am eating what can only be described as
HUUUUGE pear drops while listening to Lemon Jelly and stewing in my own gothic
juices at the tragic and unfortunate loss of a soon to be purchased pair of shoes
with serial killer heels (a much more serious proposition than killer heels ).....they
were no longer there when I looked.....sold (I imagine) to another weak willed and slightly disturbed type with an involuntary shoe fetish like me....ohhhhhhh.....sulk!

Monday, 9 August 2010

zen and the art of broadbeans

I am not a 'techno-scaredycat' in fact I openly embrace technology with both arms....
but today....let's just say that my patience is being put to the test in a very large
way- the reason, I have just entered into a fairly heated exchange with my 'time
machine'......he's actually arguing with me (nice programming apple people)
"ooo you haven't backed up for one hundred and seventy days, your such a naughty 
girl, I'm not totally sure that you have enough space for this latest backup......
I suggest you go away for a bit and think about your over casual attitude young lady while
I decide if I really want to perform your latest request.....ooo and I'm telling your iphone!"
-well it went something like that-
yesterday saw Moomin and I mooching around the Riverside gallery in Bovey (mostly for tea drinking purposes but also to look at the shiny, pretty things)- I was looking at a vase 
(I think) when I heard the yell "oooooooooloookatthat!" coming from the gallery's
direction- I rushed over to find Moomin gazing with love pasted all over her face as she 
stared at this coat....no ordinary coat....oh no...A RED AND ORANGE FELT COAT!
"I must have it" I said in a clinical and matter of fact way, we then bowed our heads in the 
customary manner to review the price...this caused both Moomin and myself to stand
bolt upright and take one step back at the same time..."correction I really want it but
oh no...three thousand pounds" cue the pout- so I decided to take a photo to send
to my friend who makes felt things "flash....off, don't want to attract attention" I
said raising the camera discreetly CLICK......FOOOSH- actually flash...on, attention
most definitely attracted- "that's done it" whispered Moomin "we're for it now"
"why's that" I replied "are we gonna get arrested by the 'craft police'
with that, we casually strolled out of the exit while the lady with the blue rinse gave me
(the one with the purple rinse) a really hard stare-  
talking of Moomin, I recently introduced her to the delights of the Mighty Boosh-
I wasn't sure if it would raise a smirk but at one point there was herbal tea coming
out of her nose so...my job here is done-
finally, something a bit random- I recently mentioned to one of my bonkers relatives that I was in the middle of changing my broadband for faster download speeds....."oo, ah..is it
possible to download broadbeans on the internet?" came the reply....
oh I hope it's not catching!