Thursday 14 October 2010

Waxing Lyrical

Right!...to clear things up...I am not a hairy girl thank you!
my good friend, quad-biking super beautician and other half to my very best friend Mca,
has now moved into the realm of all things waxy and 'hair be banished for eternity"
it seems that she needs and indeed insists on ripping hairs out of anything with a
pulse as she practices the art of hair removal, an art I believe that became very
popular during the period known as the Spanish Inquisition-
"come on up and I'll do your legs" she says "you will feel sooo much better when you
get your legs out"eh?.....get your legs out...do you think that I keep them in a box?
as it turns out, my legs were indeed 'out' the other day when I decided to take
some impossibly proportioned heels for a test drive around the grave yard with
Byron.....I wasn't aware of any hair related problems....the usual wide eyed
'OMG a vampire lurking between the memorials' looks came from random
members of the public, but at no time did any of them say "ooo, scary lady....one's
legs need some VEET application....bad hairs!"
ahh...Sunday saw Nic,Mca and I going for a fairly hefty walk from Lustleigh up to
Hunters Tor via the river...a spooky start in the mist saw Nic photographing pretty
much every mushroom in sight, while Mca stood at the base of the 'split pinnacle'
rock and gave some serious thought to climbing up it by himself (there's a special
climbing phrase for that activity....I think it was 'tempting death' or something like that)
we eventually got to the river where I unceremoniously fell in the mud, moving
on we soon arrived at the top where we had tuna bagels "er...Amelia, camera bag,
camera bag" came the observation from Nic....."aarggh, thats going to smell" I
replied as I tried to remove the fishy lumps that had escaped from my lunch time
treat and ended up all over my gucci Lowe Pro bag and shiny stuff...I tried to
take a landscape 'joiner' of the tor silhouetted against the blue sky and sun but due
to the very bad positioning of one 'beardy weirdy' right in mid shot (he had no top
on....it was soooo wrong, he may have thought that I was trying to take a sneaky
peak at his 'man jugs').................................I aborted that idea
as I sat on the couch in the beauty spa after having a totally orgasmic facial, the
voices from behind the curtain next to me went like this...."no, waxing the under
arms doesn't hurt as much as the legs" the client/victim was still complaining about
her very sore legs "ok...there may be a tiny bit of blood...ready....steady
fffffffffrrrrriiiiiiiiippppppp! "YAAAAARRGH F...K YOU....THAT BLOODY KILLS
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH".......................Nic........the answer's NO!