The Intoxication of Burlesque Desire

I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;

Thank you Byron..nicely written sir....unfortunately, not wholly appropriate for the glorious

weather that is making it's unusually early appearance this year. This means one thing for

me...suncream and a big parasol to reflect the damaging and spiteful rays from ravaging my alabaster complexion. Recently I have taken to wearing extremely burlesque inspired

clothing, initially for a photoshoot with Mca, but now it seems that impossibly proportioned

heels and backseamed stockings are creeping into my daily repertoire with ease. The whole gothic-burlesque thing may be my next obsession, like Bettie Page and Blythe

dolls. Before I got too sidetracked with incredible clothing, the beginning of last month saw

an enormous spanner inserted sideways into the delicate workings of the angelvixen

machine of creativity. Mca was trying to finish off some artwork for me, when completely unannounced, his large iMac decided to die a bit. After a period of total panic, he

decided to pay a visit to the Apple refurb store to replace the defective workstation......

Hmm grumpy bit, he was upgraded from the i5 intel to the 27 inch i7 intel without incurring

any extra cost. Happy and extremely envious all at the same time...

oh I want a quad core now!

The artwork that he was doing for me is going to be the working images for my up and

coming pre-raphaelite, gothic inspired tales of folklore and legendary ultravixens which

seems to be well overdue at the moment. Too many distractions for this girl....which brings

me back to the weather. We have been drinking lots of gin at the moment rather like

Victorian alcoholic down and outs, and contrary to popular belief......it really isn't going out

of fashion. Amongst the drinking, open air dining and random chit chat about life in general,

there has been a lot of hula hooping going on as well. Me...well I really cant do it, my coordination seems to be awful, Moomin however is getting really good though. She can do tricks and all sorts of clever things, only once did she do some sort of flashy move up above

her head to a slight fluff on the return which resulted her hoop flying through the air and

hitting me in the face and knocking me onto my back. So as I said, distractions...my

gaze becomes diverted quite easily from my work to the great outdoors all too frequently

these days (shakes fist in a threatening manner at the orange ball of fire in the sky)

but I guess it's better than shaking my fist at copious amounts of wet stuff.

Another by product of the summer is the wearing of flip flops....I have never ventured down

that road due to my old fashioned attitude to covering everything up...."just go on line and

have a look" Moomin commanded, and so I did. Ultimately I saw exactly what I wanted and ordered them immediately. "Yay..what did you order?" Moomin enquired with excitement

in her voice.....quietly I answered "oh....er...fourteen hole Doctor Martins in black

with purple laces"

Organically Influenced Lunar Intervention

Tonight
We'll crucify the insincere tonight
We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight
We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

Ooo I just went all Smashing Pumpkins...well as I am on the subject, tonight... it just so

happens that there is going to be a 'supermoon'. The moon will be thirty thousand

miles closer to us and it last did that eighteen years ago. Hmm it sounds like I have

gone all Patrick Moore but in reality....no, I saw it on the news.

Of course it is compulsory to string together some form of celebratory soiree involving

friends, nibbles, music and........oh go on then, alcoholic beverages... if we must!

The pixies and faeries are going to celebrating tonight!

Elementary Photophobic Premonition

Having never really recovered from that incident with Mca and the irretrievable Blythe doll, I

recently found myself shopping the other day with his good lady of all things holistic- Nic, for the usual girlie nonsense and shoe based products in their home town of the northern shire.

I was indeed on a mission for a pair of super swish cat eye sunglasses but wasn't having an

awful lot of luck as nowhere had them.

As we approached a charity shop my heart suddenly lurched and I ran towards the window

and to what I thought to be a much sought after 70's doll. My lurching heart sank as it

turned out to be a a really tacky Bratz variety sitting there looking like a bit of a loose maiden.

But then....my eyes drifted to the left and "OMG.......LOOK....I DON'T BELIEVE IT" I yelled

as I spotted the large headed, googly eyed beauty sitting there by a 'Thomas the tank

engine' staring back at me from behind the glass.

I launched myself through the door nearly flattening a lady who was struggling with a

heavy bag of groceries and nearly knocked over a man with a walking stick too. I grabbed

the doll from the window and stood there in totally stunned disbelief as Nic came

up beside me. "Well, is it?" she asked as I stood there still staring at one of the most

elusive prizes that I could ever imagine finding. "Yes...Takara version, 2002....she's mine!"

Now this is the really spooky bit!

Nic suddenly pointed it out, I had missed the obvious thing......the oh so obvious thing.

"Who does she look like, I mean look...long raven black hair, blunt cut fringe, black

fitted long sleeved top and a pair of gold pvc trousers" Nic whispered....."IT'S ME!"

I replied, the similarity was uncanny, I have to say that if I had to choose one Blythe doll

from a shop FULL of Blythe dolls, then this would be the one...the EXACT one.

Oo there are indeed very mystic and great powers at work here....and incidentally,

I never got the cat eye sunglasses.

Subterranean Terrors

Next door lady just so happened to inform me the other morning as to the plight of her

household plumbing and as it was a bit too early for me to take in the intricacies and

traumatically over descriptive reason why she needed 'men in'......I promptly forgot.

Fine....the technicality of our complicated drain workings due to the age of our

properties meant that all blockages had to be dealt with almost inside my house due to

the incredibly bad positioning of the inspection hatch just on the inside of my rear door.

The problem....well lets just say that my house becomes uninhabitable due to the

comparative smell as to that of the pig farm just down the road at mucking out time.

Well now..the weather is officially starting to annoy me as it has started to play havoc

with my shoes and I am sick and tired of deviating around woodlands and muddy

areas in case my Demonias get grubby. All this at the time that I need to be outside

getting more photos and working images for the next series of paintings that I

am starting. Pre-raphaelite gothic goddesses in moody landscapes wearing floaty dresses

with and armour and faeries and stuff...oh my, that's a mouthful.

Yikes I've gone of the path again. So, having forgotten about the drain issue that had

been related to me in the morning, it was eventually evening and Moomin and I were in

slumber mode with typical girlie slumber clothing, nibbles and an endless supply

of chick flicks on the go. All of a sudden there was a yellow flashing light coming up

the lane which parked right outside my house. As the light illuminated the front room

Moomin and I looked at each other quizzically. "Alright love...where is the blockage?" said

a man's voice to next door lady. "OH.....I FORGOT......DRAIN MEN!" I whispered.

Through the door I could make out two figures in orange who started to pull open

drain covers. I very quickly explained to Moomin (in hushed tones) as to why we

can't let them in (pig farm) and we would have to be very quiet. "Pretend we aren't in"

whispered Moomin "that's it.....but, er the lights are on"

The men had now gone around the back and there were noises of tools and hoses

moving under the house with gushing water jets. "Er....hide!" I said and with that we

both dived on the floor and crawled under the coffee table as we pretended that we

were out or something. One of the men was now back at the front and was making

disapproving sounds as to the fact that the drain was still blocked. Then there was a

gushing sound and I was convinced that the hatch near the kitchen was going to be blown

upwards showering my house in next door lady's ........ooh I don't want to even think

about it. By now Moomin was having a huge fit of the giggles which started me off.

"Two grown up girls hiding under the table from men with boiler suits and a hosepipe

and a big van with yellow flashing lights, heheheheheh" it was mentioned.

All of a sudden there were two figures outside, this time though they were making

satisfied 'man sounds'...."ah there we go it's all gone now" one said. "Yes...

time for the pub then" said the other and with that they were gone.

Moomin and I lay there for a bit longer and when I had plucked up enough courage

I jumped up and peered out of the window. "Oh good....they've gone, lets get back

to chick flicks and dips"

I recently saw next door lady and there was no mention of the drain, however I did

give her some money off vouches for 'all bran' and some 'fruit and fibre' cereal...

well she may take the hint!

Blythe Faerie Trauma

Recently I have been lurking around woodlands in a moody victorian style with the hope

of coming across tree faeries again. Mca happened to pass comment about something to

do with madness and boxes of frogs or something but I chose to ignore it.

However, he did notice that Luna my faerie doll bore a striking resemblance to another

doll that he was holding in his very hands not three months ago.

"Exactly the same googly eyes and enormous head" he said as he examined Luna in

a very methodical manner. As Luna was of the Blythe tribe I enquired if he was at a toy

fair or antique market. "Er...charity shop" he said..."WHAT!" I said.

He went on "yes a basket that announced, small toys 50p and large toys £1.50...I assumed

that the doll was in the large toy category"......."WHAT!" I repeated, now clearly with

visible signs of what best can be described as tears of disbelief welling up behind my

extremely black (but luckily waterproof) lashes.

"Noooo, this can't be" I said as I grabbed hold of mca and dragged him into my studio.

I fired up my sleeping imac and googled Blythe dolls and then pointed at the screen.

"You see the prices.....eh...look, look" I yowled as I carried on frantically tapping

at the the shiny images. "Oh.....OH!" mca replied "clearly the £1.50 may well have been

regarded as somewhat of a bargain" he went on. "Yes" I said in a hushed voice "I think

I need a bit of a lie down"

"Drama queen" he shouted after me as I floated off in the direction of my room.......

I won't tell you what I shouted back!

Awakening

I am looking out of my window....the grey clouds are scooting across the horizon

towards Widecombe in the Moor and a group of outdoor types are struggling with

a large map that clearly wants to be a kite and not a ramblers picnic blanket as the

high priestess of Ordnance Survey had surely intended.

The second coffee of the day just hasn't done it's job as I was woken up at bonkers

o clock by the even more bonkers birds that seem to think that it's time to go and

buy Easter eggs. I'm contemplating the third as I can't stop rubbing my eyes and yawning

and this really is having a damaging effect on my carefully applied eyes and lips.

Last night I dreamt that I was a darkly gothic, blood sucking, angel type faerie

again who was skulking around the granite outcrops of Honeybag tor looking

for lost and weary travelers to feast upon (yes...again, this seems to be a regular one)

The outdoor types have now tamed their unruly map and banished it to top of a

truly enormous rucksack and are busily 'clickety clicking' their way up the lane

with their walking poles as they head out towards the moor.....hmmm, I wonder if

they are going near Honeybag tor? Vampyre Amelia would relish in that. A quick

look at the outdoor types and it was fairly obvious who would be the first to

perish. A very short lady was coming up the rear of the group and was clearly

having issues in the trouser department (I think she needs a belt.) She would drop

back from the group to adjust her polyester source of annoyance and WHAM.....

"where's Mabel?" would come the question. On realising that very short lady

was missing it would be agreed that they would have to split up to search for

her.....this was exactly what Vampyre Amelia would want as she carefully picked

them off one by one as they mooched around the monoliths. When it came to the

leader and last of the ramblers (who I shall call Neville) to succumb to the bite

of the undead, he would dig deep into his goretex and pull out a shiny cross

that he had hanging around his neck (19.99 from Argos) and wave it in Amelia's

direction, hoping to repel the nasty girl. "Ha...doesn't work on me foolish mortal,

try again" she would snarl and Neville would frantically search his pockets for

a weapon. A compass, mobile phone, cuddly bear keyring....wait, what's this...

Kendal mint cake!

"Is that Kendal mint cake?" Vampyre Amelia would ask. ""yes" Neville would

answer as he waved it in the air as a threat to the mistress of darkness.

"Hmmm............I'm off""

I never liked Kendal mint cake, I am sure that it's the same stuff that you hang in

the toilet for that pine fresh minty smell, in fact I bet that it's made in the same

factory..........um.....you know that I said that the coffee wasn't working....well I think

that it is now as I am doing what the happy, clicky outdoor types are doing...

RAMBLING!